When we first started my one ask and hope from you was to be my moon.
I have been plagued by so many broken hearts and so many insecurities from men who just always discarded me
So I asked for your honesty.. I asked for you to give me pureness.. because I was finally finding it on my own.. I finally was working on myself.. but you promised me to be your moon. You promised to fill my days with light and love.
And so I fell for you.. so fucking hard. You where my world and I could think of anything but you and how happy I was to be orbiting around you and your life.
But one day you stole that light from me.. you kept on taking and taking from my rays of sunshine.. and I happily let you.. until you drained me dry. That promise of being my moon came back to be nothing but a lie. You provided me artificial light and just kept on taking and taking and taking my pure light.
You drained me into a husk. I mentally was unwell. My body was protesting me and the world that you lived in.
And yet I tried and tried to make it work. I kept on telling myself maybe this time he will be better to me. Maybe this time he will put in the work. Maybe this time we will become sober for me. Maybe this time it will just be different.
But it never was. I fell in love with a selfish man. Someone who was too scared to life and too scared to change. Someone who didn’t know what it meant to be there for someone.
My slowly and softly just broke.. every piece of me was decaying.. rotting from the inside out.
And then I left.
Surprisingly to me you didn’t chase me.
You just watched me leave like you always did.
Actions is just something that never was important to you.
But when it was the last time to prove that you were to make that leap.. you just repeated your actions and behaviors.
So now here I am. Still holding out for this fake source of light.. still hoping that one day you will just prove that you are worthy to be in my life. I waited so patiently for you to just be better for your life and mine.. and it never came.
Healing has been hard. Filling your void with my passions has been even harder. But slowly I am reminding myself of who I am and who I am on the way of becoming.
I will no longer compare a man to the moon.. how silly it was of me to ever compare someone to the beautiful and purest light from the moon. Holding someone on a pedestal they could never ever be. So I shall fall in love with the real moon 🌙